|
| i miss it, the old them.
i don`t even know if everything is still the same.
i refuse to admit that you`ve changed,
that ive changed.
but nothing can hide the visible truth.
everything isn't as easy as u made it seem before.
everything is just too vague.
pain is the only thing vivid that my eyes can see.
maybe i choose to only see the hurt,
but this i doubt.
my life has been an overrated epitome of sadness
searching for the person, or people to make it happy.
it is indeed important for me to feel your heart beating,
as it beats i wanna hear it call for me.
i want it to make me feel the love i`ve never felt.
or maybe i refuse to feel.
i need you here. ALL of you.
---------->
thats not a song. its my feelings. gisoriginal. i've been down lately knowing that
i can't seem to give all the help i want to give. sometimes people just
refuse it. honestly, its a tough call. i need you guys to knoe how much
each and everyone of you mean to me. its as if im nobody. nothing to my bestfriend, my classmates, my family. im just a temporary scratch in your lives. but i wanna be a scar. i wanna be there forever. the drops of rain passing over my head just covers everything pouring out of my eyes. its so fake, so plastic, but id rather keep it that way. im not quite sure why im writing this stupid blog wasting a lot of time i should be treasuring. but i want you to know, YES you. that i trully love you. whether or not you dont seem to think so. i've missed you too. i swear to GOD i have. but you have to take the time to get to see me. not only externally but internally as well. i love you.
dedicated to a lot of people.
... i wanna go back in time, when i could go chase butterflies and smile. a genuine
smile, sounds utterly naive but the saddest part is, this WAS my life.
| | |
| hmmm
*
this is definitely gonna be a pointless blog. just finished cleaning my room after like
1 month
of not cleaning it. it got so messy that this morning my mother threw all my crap on the floor and i mean
everythang. i just spent 1 hour cleaning my room. what else ?
i guess that`s it. pointless much ? indeed.
--taken yesterday inside the washroom lol
--mirror shots are sexy..
--don`t sweat.
peace kids.
one. `=0
//edit
just to let u know that iloveyou
and i FUCKiN do
second EDiT 052305
its VIctoria Day today !! that`s why there`s no skool today lol anyways...
it leaves me w/ an heartache. but it leaves me w/ no regret. doesnt mean that i dont care if i say i dont miss you yet.
once
is enough
twice is too much
and three is a poison
if it doesnt work out now.. how can it work out later on...
if i was to make an ideal guy. it wouldnt be boyfriend qualitiy.. it would be bestfriend qualitiy.
//third edit
you guys lookkkk !!
he`s MiNE bitches ! LOL | | |
| NEW layout since i hated the last one. <33
i can do better than this i think ?? anyways....
lust makes you do
A LOT
of crazy things.
people
come into your life and maybe you know right away they were somehow
meant to be there. maybe to be there for a reason, to teach you a
lesson. you never know who those people might be --your bestfriend, or
enemy, your classmate, your cousin, your boyfriend/girlfriend or even a
complete stranger.
right away, you know they will affect your life in some way..but
overcoming all these obstacles and problems/memories and laughter, you
will realize with all your heart in your head or whatever that
everything happens for a reason.
it might happen by chance, coinsidence or luck. maybe this is all a
test. all the mistakes, past loves, moments and stupidity &&
regrets. probably without these things, life would be perfect and
pointless somehow. the ppl that have stepped in and out of my life had
helped me create the person i am. bad experiences and mistakes can be
learned from but for the mean time we will eventually move on but we
won`t forget about it `coz its important to remember so u wont make the
dumb mistake again. if someone hurts you, cheats you, breaks your
heart, betrays you, or even just lie to you --u should be happy that u`ve met `em but forgive them bcoz
they helped you learn about the trust and the importance of bein really
cautious when en who to open your heart to next time. if sum1
really loves u or likes u, try to love them back.
not just coz they love you but bcoz they teach you how to love. they
probably even opened ur eyes and also made u experience things dat u
would have never seen or felt w/o em or w/ another person. keep track
of the ppl u meet and appreciate evry moment wit em `coz ul never find
any1 else like em to experience it.
//EDiT 052205 130am
random thought...
boys will break your heart,
friends will betray you
parents will seem too strict
and life might annoy you
but you should
always remember
that there`s a purpose
for these things to be happening to us
so keep your head up and ur spirits high
because if u don`t
life will just pass you by...
damn this
shit. im hurtin sooo bad yo.
2005 isn`t my year. i can`t take all the damn problems coming at me all at once. God, anyone, help me, please !!
| | |
| "`coz im hurting you so bad
now that you`re not by my side
i guess you could say it`s me
who`s hurting so bad after all this time
after all that we`ve been through
baby aren`t you hurtin too?"
eeyy ppls of the world.. wells its me again.. yeah yeah, wells as
USUAL
school sucks
ASS
.. anyways, tony just called me a nerd coz
we were doin this shiett in science class en so we had to answer the
stupid questions from the book enn he asked my for the answer when i
told him i DON `t knoe the friggin answer he said "yes u do `coz ur a nerd !" uhh .. how mean !!
that shiett is gett`n mad
ANNOYING
!!!
anyways, when i was stand`n outside the changeroom
J0NATHAN`s
annoying ass started mess`n with my ass and so i was gonna punch his tummy... BUT THEN.... i went
LOWER
and punched the living shiet outta his NUTS... i don`t think he be havin anymore babies.. BWAHAH !!! anyways, when i got home i had the weirdest conversation with my 10 year old cousin...
...SANDRA:
ate... in FAMiLY LiFE we were talk`n bout peninses...
?!!ME: [eat`n cake]
ok
...SANDRA:
sperms form
BABiES
...ME: [practically chock`n] uhh.. i guess
...SANDRA: ... so im a
SPERM
!!!ME: [lmao while chok`n to death] NO you
RETARD
??!SANDRA:
soo what am i
]ME: [starts explain`n to her the egg cell shiet `nd the embryo thing
SANDRA: soo.. i`m an
EMBRYO
]ME: no... u
DUMBASS [explains more with the fetus thing]
SANDRA: ohh i get it.. so im a
FETUS
ME:
NO.... ur a fetus when ur in ur momsz` tummy u crackhead...
LMAO
__++it`s
soo hard to fuck`n explain shiiet lyk that to ur `liL cousins...
anyways, `iLUVher to death even though she could be a crack head at
times ... `=p
MUCH LUBBiES
| | |
| dear number 27,
i
STiLL
love you .. & breakin up with you wasn`t that easy to do .. i just CAN`T absorb all those words you say to me .. i tried to ignore it but this time its T00 MUCH !
you already
passed
the limit. i changed, u changed, our relationship has changed,
EVERYTHiNG
has changed. we tried to be the "best couple" they used to describe us. but we didn`t make it. we`ve been through a lot of things in life &
we managed to fix everything and be happy
again, but now, its different i don`t think this will work out between
us anymore. maybe we`re not meant to be u kno ? but our love was true wasn`t it ?
maybe i`m just not the right person for you &
vice versa. i don`t like the way you
deliver those words, it`s like ur slapping it right to my face.. it`s
like u don`t know you`re already hurtin me.. i asked you... "friends?" you said u don`t want it this way.. but u see, we can`t do anything.. i did this `coz i kno this is what`s best.. it`s over. there`s this point in life where you have to let go of something/someone soo important to you.. no matter how hard we try to keep `em we just can`t.. `;[
EDiT 051805
NEW layout v3.o whores `x] i can do better than this i think ?? dang .. its soo.. PLAiN ! anyhow ..
happy
18th birthday
CHARM. i love you sweety !! hope you had a good one.. <33
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